I have been here always
in one form or another.
molecules and particles...
Matter never created or
destroyed, you know.
A cycle of transfers.
The me you know
will someday blow
across your face
in the form of subatomic
bits and pieces.
Will some part of you
feel that and know?
often I awake
feeling like I'm drowning
and there is no boat,
no lifeline,
not even one
rot-forsaken
jagged rock
to hoist myself upon,
to breathe for a
minute.
And I want it to end.
All of it.
To simply go under
the waves
and not come up.
Let the darkness claim
whatever it wants.
But that's too easy.
And I'd miss something.
I'd miss the sunlight
breaking over the eastern horizon,
the sound of snow falling in
the woods,
the taste of good bourbon,
the warmth of a roaring fire.
I'd miss the weight of a sleepy child,
the shock of a cool lake in summer,
and the feel of grass under my feet.
So I fight.
I claw my way to the surface
as each wave
And there I am
tall and strong
new scars to tell
the stories
of where I was
and how I've been
and how I've
just scraped by.
And every curve
carved out
and polished
by time.
And I stand
exposed
to love myself
like no one
ever could.
Tall and strong
lean and long
oh, but if they
only would.
Drunkenly spilling emotions,
overflowing with all the things
I'd forgotten how to feel.
Pins and needles-
Oh, oh my God how it hurts.
An awakening.
The warmth that spreads
from the center of my being
outward toward you.
It burns, but it reminds me
that I'm still alive
after everything.
And I reach
as I spill, pouring myself
into open arms
that wrap me safe and warm.
skin to skin contact by sirenoftheplains, literature
Literature
skin to skin contact
full length.
incredible view.
curves and angles.
all of you.
and I am honored to
lay beside you,
vulnerable and exposed
and I feast upon the
sensation
of bare skin against mine.
I revel in the nearness
and the warmth
you radiate.
and I breathe in
your scent.
smooth skin.
soft curves.
unshowered and
groggy still.
Breathing together.
Contact.
*sigh*
And we doze,
bare, limbs entangled like vines.
And I am honored to
lay beside you,
vulnerable and exposed.
Skin to skin.
without the clothes.
I strip myself bare
and give away bits of myself
until there's nothing left
but the battered skeleton.
And I give.
and I give.
and I offer what's left
to you,
and you, being the
only one left with eyes
refuse the offer.
choosing instead
to offer to me.
To hold the bones together
and help them mend.
I'm damn tough.
Forged in the fires
of other folks' bad decisions
and the slow and hot smolder
of burnt bridges over
flood stage waters.
Full of piss and vinegar,
I'll thrive out of pure spite.
I've walked miles through
nightmares of my own making
and danced lightly through
dreams.
Tempered and forged
like alloy steel.
Case hardened.
Nearly unbreakable
by all appearances
as I stomp defiantly
through this world.
Independent to the end,
needing no help until I do...
But I'm cracking
under the weight of this
collection of decisions
mine and others.
Too proud to let go
before it all lands on me
or I go up in flames myself.
The problem is,
I love hard and wholeheartedly
fiercely and fully.
I charge forward with
no regard for my personal safety,
full bodied diving in
because love is an experience
I don't want to leave this life without
indulging and immersing myself and others.
I pour myself out as an act of love
and when I'm lucky,
someone pours themselves back into me.
And when I'm lucky,
They pour a little extra.
And when I'm not,
I'll lay prostrate in the desert
and continue to pour myself out
to make just one flower bloom.